Get Motivated! By Captured! By Robots this Sunday

Photo of Captured! By Robots courtesy the band's MySpace

Photo of Captured! By Robots courtesy the band's MySpace

Words by DJ Hostettler

Not a lot of bands make use of the old-fashioned e-mail list anymore—not in the age of Facebook, Twitter and MySpace (where bands friend bands to see what other bands are up to). But getting the occasional email from JBOT of Captured! By Robots reminds me how handy this archaic form of electronic communication can still be, especially when he sends missives like the following:

“It’s been a long 2 years since we toured, lots of things have happened in the world, eh?
Everyone I have been speaking with is depressed, or struggling to keep their heads above water,
and I felt that something must be done by C!BR for all you folks needing some help at this difficult time.

Let’s face facts, people…
Times are tough these days…
Have you lost your job, lost your home, or lost your way?
Are you sick and tired of being down in the dumps?
Do you need some inspiration to help you get back on track?
Are you ready for Success? It’s ready for you!

The “Get Motivated by C!BR” Fall 2009 tour will inspire,
motivate, and make you want to grab for that brass ring.
It will include well known songs that will make you jump out of your seat .
You will be ready to take on the World, and YOU will WIN!
You are #1!

Life coach JBOT will help you solve all your problems,
giving you a unique perspective on solutions custom tailored to your needs.
A short biography:
JBOT has been through many trials and tribulations, trying to keep a band of robots going for 12 years,
dealing with daily breakdowns and complications,
getting hit by a car, but has managed to overcome these adversities with gusto.
Let him help you to become a success in whatever your dreams may be.

We can only show you the way, it’s up to you to take that first step….
Take that step out the door to come see us,
You won’t be disappointed.
Remember, Every journey starts with one small step.

DISCLAIMER:
C!BR does not hold any liability if you continue to be a loser douchebag after this seminar”

If you have never attended a Captured! By Robots show, here’s what you’re missing: ROBOTS. Real live robots. Not dudes in suits, like those posers in Servotron. REAL ROBOTS. If that doesn’t inspire you to head to the Cactus Club on Sunday, I’m not sure what would.

Each of JBOT’s tours focuses on a different theme to keep things fresh—he’s done Star Trek: The Next Generation, a recap of the Bush Administration, even a “Get Married By C!BR” tour that featured JBOT using his Universal Life Church minister’s license to legally marry people while the band played wedding standards (like “YMCA” and “Don’t Stop Believin”). If this time, he’s gonna motivate us to jumpstart our careers during the recession, that’s enough motivation for me to make it out and see exactly what the hell the dude’s got up his sleeve this time.

Cactus Club. Sunday. Juiceboxxx opens.

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