Tonight at the Riverhorse: Crappy Dracula

photo courtesy of the band

photo courtesy of the band

Words by Erin Wolf

Crappy Dracula might be a bit misunderstood, but that’s all right with them; they’re not out to win any popularity contests. They are out to release a 7″ along with Farms in Trouble before they head off on a tour of Michigan, New York, Connecticut and Rhode Island.  The band has selected three tunes for their side of the vinyl that will be available tonight at Riverhorse — both a live and a documented form of the band that is as much Scratch Acid and Flipper as it is Guided By Voices and the Troggs. Fan-belt checks in with the band before they ship out.

Crappy Dracula, “Hospital Waste Management Facility (Party Tonight)”

What’s the new 7″ called?

Dug: The new 7″ is called “White Women”. Blame Justin.

Justin: Dug, I’m glad you brought that up. The new 7″ is also called “White Women”.

Aaron: (the guitar lead from “The Boys are Back in Town”).

How did Crappy Dracula come to collaborate with Farms in Trouble on a 7″?

Aaron: A long time ago, in a galaxy far away, lived a man on Bodacious Lane. His name was Big Plackard. He used an amazing recording box to record us for posterity.

Justin: Yeah, they are our buddies. Plus, Converge hasn’t been a band for a decade, so we had to take our second choice.

Dug: I have no idea, those guys are actually talented. I think we must have tricked them or hypnotized them or something. Maybe they lost a bet.

The two songs on your 7″ are called “Hospital Waste Management Facility (Party Tonight)” and “Applications”. “Applications” sounds a bit conspiracy theorist-ic, lyrically? Is it?

Justin: Can I start this one? Thanks, Dug. It’s interesting that you brought that up, Erin…while there may few words in the song, much of it is derived from the mantras in a pamphlet I’ve been reading lately from the very Reverend Professor Maynard P. Kressin entitled “The Sun Came From the Earth: The Power of Children and Tales of Animals”. I found it deeply moving and brought it up to the fellas about turning it into song-form.

After a storied game of craps and three band practices, so mote it be.

Dug: I love shopping. Seriously. Be it toothpaste or records or shoes or frilly new dresses, I love to shop. That’s what the song means to me.

Aaron: Gino Washinton, not to be confused with Gino Washington from England, inspired my drumming on the track. I cite the song “Nobody But My Baby” as a reference. Look it up, fart.

Fuzzy the Cat: It could be noted that the record also has Crappy Dracula covering Guided by Voices’ “A Good Flying Bird” as well as the two originals.

At the end of the song you spell out the words “hospital waste management facility”, letter  by letter. That’s a long phrase: how many takes did you all have to do to sync it up?

Dug: I think we nailed it in one, but to be fair, we’d been playing the song for a long time and I had the words spelled out in front of me in the studio. If there is ever a spelling bee that only incorporates those four words, I am going to win some really great, wet ham.

What are the details on you show tonight and the following tour?

Fuzzy: Meow, meow, ham.

Aaron: Local favorites, Uh-Oh, will be playing, too, followed by playing some records, drinking some beers, and basically just having a great time at a great bar.

Fuzzy: This show will kick off around 9:00 p.m. which means 9:30 p.m. or 9:45 p.m. in Milwaukee magic show time.

Aaron: Wow, your cat is talking in English. What do you feed her?

Justin: Tour, best case scenario: we score a surprise gig on the last night atop Mount Weather for an audience of the Council on Foreign Relations, Richard Nixon’s frozen penis, and inexplicably, and two confused urban teenagers dressed as Hans and Franz from that tacky SNL sketch.

Tour, even better case scenario: a couple beers, a couple of novelty sized sandwiches, the open road, and some new, future enemies.

Tour, worst case scenario: Motel 6, Trenton, New Jersey.

Tour, wild card scenario: John Waters will come see us in Baltimore, become our roadie and Aaron will become a disturbing, slightly underground filmmaker with a pencil-thin moustache in the home of the Preakness.

Dug: Tour is always a raging party broken up by really long drives. We’re headed east for six days, then back west for six days. I’m sure once we’ ve played the music meccas of Hamtramck, MI and Carbondale, IL, we’re going to sell out to some major label.

Crappy Dracula, now brought to you by McDonald’s/Chevron, is currently on fellowship at the Dug Belan Institute for Wayward Girls. We’ve got a bunch of records and appreciate your patience.

Crappy Dracula kick off their tour with a 7 p.m. show at the Riverhorse (701 E. Center Street). Their split  7″ with Farms in Trouble, “White Women”, will be available. Also playing: Uh-Oh


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