The Department of Homeland Security = No Fun

Words by DJ Hostettler

So, full disclosure: I’m running two shows at the Borg Ward this weekend; two shows that we’re previewing here on the bloggywog. Conflict of interest? Eh, maybe, but let’s face it–Milwaukee is a small music town. There’s a 95% chance that anyone in this town who writes about local music is involved in it in some other capacity–in a band, a promoter, what have you. So let’s just make like Mad Max and get Beyond Nepotism, ok? As long as people are Fair and Balanced unlike Fox News, we’re good to go.

So as I prepared to sit down in front of my computer tonight to write a preview for tomorrow’s Fun/King’s Horses/White Problems/97-Shiki/Slob Donovan show, I noticed I had a voice mail from Douglas, 97-Shiki’s bass player. I listen to it and get the worst news.

“Hey DJ, this is Douglas from 97-Shiki. I’ve got two of the guys from Fun here with me. The third got detained by Customs, and they actually ended up not letting him into the country. He got sent back to Finland. So, they’re kinda screwed for the show tomorrow.”

White Problems: A Tour Diary, Part III

Words by Brian Whitney

White Problems 4: Problems on Patrol 

Times are good, morale is high. Today the Probs took a short diversion to see Niagara Falls. It’s a good place to spend about a half an hour (and ten bones on parking) as well as a great place to find deals on many varieties of the ubiquitous “I Heart NY” shirt that definitely in no way makes you look like a tourist. Last night we played a house show in Rochester, NY, in a small basement with a low ceiling. The lack of oxygen merged with the low ceilings almost proved disastrous for my noggin, but we slugged it out and it was all gravy.

 We’re probably about a half hour from going on at our show in Cleveland, in which we are the first of four touring bands (the only locals canceled.) There’s little reason to be optimistic, but at least everyone who works here is extremely friendly. We just might make it through this thing alive. After every show we play, it’s inevitable that someone (usually from one of the other bands) asks me about my setup and how I make my bass sound like a guitar. I’m considering lying from here on out. Anyone who can think of funny fictional effect pedal names, please post them in the comments and I’ll work them into my banter.

White Problems: A Tour Diary, Part II

 

photo courtesy of White Problems

Words by Brian Whitney

White Problems 3: The Voyage Home

Ah, coming home. While my mother’s house has provided some much-needed comforts to the touring party, it’s still bittersweet to be here. These back-to-back shows in New Brunswick, NJ and Brooklyn are the first that I’ve played in my former stomping grounds in about two and a half years, but very little appears to have changed.

The New Brunswick show was an unadulterated blast, especially getting to play with old friends in the bands A Fucking Elephant and Risk Relay. Seeing old friends is nice, but certain realities remain, especially in NYC, an island of six million people that are silently (or not so silently) wishing you didn’t exist. Our Brooklyn show was at a bar called The Charleston that served free pizza (!) and attracted a decent audience.

What I didn’t realize is that The Charleston was about four blocks away from another bar called Galapagos. I played the last show of my East Coast music ‘career’ there, and decided to summarize what the experience had been like for me by mooning the audience during my band’s last song. The idea backfired (obviously), as the venue had a picture of my ass on their website for over a year. Thanks, New York, for reminding me why I left. One day of the city was all I could take without longing for some Midwestern courtesy.

Tonight our return begins with a show in Rochester, NY. We have four remaining shows and I’m really having a lot of fun out here. Everyone is getting along pretty well and our minor missteps haven’t caused too much dissent within the ranks. Hopefully these last few shows are pleasant enough experiences and we can all maintain our respective sanities and come home in one piece.

Until then, dear readers.

White Problems: A Tour Diary, Part I

 

photo courtesy of White Problems

WHITE PROBLEMS, A TOUR DIARY (8/7/09)

CAST OF CHARACTERS:

BRIAN WHITNEY:  26, bass guitar and your narrator. Has a tendency to get rather salty. Probably has the worst diet of anyone in the group.

BRIAN ROGERS:  26, vocals. Is learning to cope with a recent dramatic haircut. Shouldn’t be allowed to eat in the car.

CHUCK ENGEL:  29, drums. Most likely to repeat a joke until no longer funny. Is usually wondering what the Brewers are up to.

NATE GREENE,: 28, roadie extraordinaire. By all accounts a stand up gent. Drives, lifts, and sells without complaint. 

photo courtesy of White Problems

We are currently in Altoona, PA, a sleepy town in the middle of nowhere. The first few shows of our tour have been with the band Hawks from Atlanta, who are both great guys and a great band (a rare GGGB, although to be fair anyone who knows me knows why I would be partial to a band from Atlanta called Hawks.)

Last night we played in Johnstown, PA, a town famous for being eradicated in a flood about 130 years ago. The show was at an art gallery/warehouse space that mainly catered to the high school set. The White Probs/Hawks members were easily eight or nine years older than anyone in attendance, and I spent about 80 percent of our set thinking about what the kids thought of us as human beings. I accomplished my goal of selling a t-shirt in small town America that boldly declared “I’ve Got White Problems”. I hope nothing bad happens to that kid. 

TOUR DIARY 2 (7/9/09)

Last night we played in Philadelphia, and I got to see some old East Coast friends and play in America’s hottest warehouse (temperature-wise, not in terms of profile.) Someone had a large plastic bottle of whiskey;  a cursory review of my phone activity this morning revealed the damage done. It was also our last show with Hawks, who are headed back to the ATL. They will be missed.

We are currently in my hometown of East Brunswick, NJ, at my mother’s house. Worlds are colliding. Tonight’s show in New Brunswick will be the first one I’ve played in my home state since I moved to Milwaukee. It’ll be like my high school reunion, except that I also have to perform in it.

Update on the group: Chuck has taken to wearing a bandanna underneath a flat brimmed baseball cap and sweatbands, which leaves him looking somewhere between a Latino gangster and a member of Cypress Hill. Brian Rogers is losing his voice. A Wal-Mart honey bear is the only solution we have come up with so far. Nate continues to prove his worth at crucial times, namely when I am too hot/incoherent to figure out how to unplug equipment/sell shirts/etc. I really regret not brining a pillow/blanket on this trip. More to follow soon.

TGIT! WTF?

Alright … this is a sparse list of to-dos. Why do I not know anything about what’s going on this weekend?! Hey venues — I know it’s summer, but it wouldn’t hurt to update the ol’ website once in awhile (Lulu I’m looking at you) or get the right information out to the press about your shows so that the Shepherd Express doesn’t write about the supporting act like it’s the headliner (Stonefly!).  Don’t make me have to think about shamelessly self-promoting one of my own gigs that happens to be at Live on North on Friday night … oops.

So here are a couple of Friday shows that I actually received information on. If y’all know of anything else cool happening this weekend, hit me up via email Thanks! -AL

Friday, July 31

Signaldrift + Rich Dad + Pressboard + Made of Oak @ Cactus Club, 2496 S. Wentworth Ave. 10 p.m.

The experimental electronic duo Signal Drift is joined by fellow sonic searchers Pressboard and Rich Dad (a pair of CoCoBees side projects) and also Made of Oak, the solo project of Nick Sandborn of the Headlights and Decibully. “Esoteric” is the word that comes to mind; you’ll get quite familiar the tops of your shoes Friday night at Cactus.

The Nicotine Fits + Empty Heads + The Anasazis + Crappy Dracula + Crappy Dracula @ Frank’s Powerplant, California & KK, 10 p.m.

It’s loud, unforgiving, unapologetic DIY garage punk from across the United States. The Nicotine Fits are in from Colorado; they share a similar sound with Chicago bill-mates Empty Heads, which can be described as two-chord abrasiveness in so many words. San Diego’s The Anasazis take a more Beach Boys/Magnetic Fields-approach to the garage component. And if you don’t know about Milwaukee hosts Crappy Dracula, you’d best ask somebody.

Sunday, August 2

Group of the Altos + Night Owl + White Problems @ Cactus Club, 2496 S Wentworth, 10 p.m.

Group of the Altos have a lot of instruments and the chops to use them appropriately. Night Owl came all the way here from Quebec City. White Problems have an impressive pedigree and some incendiary new cds and t-shirts.  Don’t sleep on this one.